There's More Men In Children Than Wisdom Knows

"Ladies and gentleman.. Ron Hitler-Barassi!"

It was at that very bar when I had my worst trip
It was only last Saturday.

I'd come to the Grip with Keegan and Troy and a few other skegs
And this weird dude, he comes up to me and he says
"I got some leaf the other day, up at Byron,
 a coupla cones. You wanna try 'em?"

Now, I know I was pissed and the light's pretty bad
But I looked at this dude, and it was my dad!
I was speechless. I stayed, rigid with fright
He said "Do you know Evan [beep] fucked Carly [beep] on Friday night?"

His hair was in dreads, his t-shirt said Slam
I couldn't beleive this was my old man
I'd seen him every day, hanging 'round with bankers
"TISM play here next Saturday" he said, "they're wankers"

"But.. but.. but dad" I stammered, "you're.. you're, I mean
 I mean you're not-"
Just then my uncle Leroy came up
"Whoa!" he said, "awesome pot."

I looked around this club. My sight, it was hazy
But there was aunt Ethel, and uncle Fred and wife Daisy.

My eyes finally focused on this host of drug takers
My whole family was here, and they turned into skaters!
"Gotta lash dude!" said dad, "can't afford to linger,
 I gotta get your mum home for a bit of stink-finger"

I fainted right there in a swoon on the floor
Keegan and Troy; they took me out by that very door
It was like watching a movie from end to beginnin'
It was like forcing Michael [beep] to fuck older women.

It was all in reverse, it was a horrid contrast,
It was like seeing Jennifer [beep] put the coke bottle up Jimmy [beep]'s arse

And I woke up this morning, and it was all normal again
"Listen son" said dad, "I want you home by 10.
 You were raving last night, your friends are all thugs
 You were so out of it, I think you're on drugs!"

I grabbed his hand and said "Dad! Thank god it's you!
 And you're tellin' me off, oh dad I love you!"
"Smartarse" he muttered, and he went off to work
The same normal, boring, conventional jerk.

So... skaters and skegheads and surfers; be warned..
Thank God for teachers and parents and police men, uniformed,
Remember as you slag them off and you cuss
When you're forced to do homework and at the next drug bust
I had a vision of a world even more suss
Remember: It would be worse if they acted like us.